EARTH IS BEING INVADED! Here’s a guide to the different demons and how to kill ’em, brought to you by a total nutter. Sponsored by Bethesda.
Text version of the guide (automatically created subtitles)
Hello you welcome to the rebels guide to demons whoa sorry I mean welcome to the Slayers guide to demons these hellish noise are invading earth but if you’re watching this from the charred remains of your living room don’t panic I’m gonna help you identify them and show you how to send them crying back to hell ah should really do a TED talk on this okay so if this is your first at demonic invasion.
Don’t be embarrassed we’ve all been there here’s a quick recap of how things go down you are the good guys these are the bad guys who’s this loser well he’s a hell priest what are the bad keys and part of the reason this is all kicking off so he’s definitely nice now is knocking popped off the demon buddies are scampering around giving earth a makeover and so far they’re doing a pretty piss-poor job the decor is appalling I mean I love a good cops kabob as much as the next man but look at it just look at it not taste at all they’ve ruined the local shopping center they turn the park into a magma pit clogged up the underground with all that guts and to top it all off they have the slowest uber each drivers ever but pizzas game called it at least someone is still watering the plants anyway let’s chat more demon shooty zombies are the up unius demons to emerge from the depths of hell.
Whoa steady there fella they range from the yellow-eyed blocks you stagger around earth like drunk toddlers to scrawny mangled faced lads in the spear city of exhaustion to fugly bold fellows in skimpy sci-fi suits on the cultist abyss.
Don’t be fooled by their feeble looks or their superb li synchronized dance routines if they get too close they get a bit biting nothing a few bullets are a chainsaw swipe can’t handle and if you glory kill an earth-based zombie with a wallop to the head their little faces get all squashed into their bodies and OMG it’s so cute I can’t even em now imps are nifty little buggers that scurry around chucking fireballs out yet definitely avoid said fireballs especially when they use both their clawed mitts to roll up a massive one you’ll find them on earth exalt you around hell basically you’ll find them everywhere.
They’re like pigeons except you yourself if you saw one underneath the park bench little tick hill simply lifts chintz off like so and voila diced him up shoot them in the face your call how do I describe the caca demon imagine an extremely pissed-off tomato with tiny t-rex arms like imps these bloated bodies are found all over the gaff if they start trying to chomp on ya chuck a frag grenade or a sticky bomb into their enormous gob the sternum then ye I’m car their big green eyeball not bound a cocktail stick and serve it in a martini jobs a good’un the hell Knights is an attention-seeking nob who makes it debut by dramatically bursting out of a Citadel Enix culture and launching fists first into a ground pound he’s too chunky to transfer but a nice big gun will reduce him and his big demon energy to a big buddy mess just keep him at distance so he’s in kabhi silly the revenant starts making a nuisance of himself when you or wanton or casually visit hell this skeletal geezers weak points are his shoulder-mounted rocket launchers destroy them to stop in firing homing missiles right up your ass and he has a jetpack lucky shot it’s not even that cooler I definitely don’t want to go on it oh hold on what’s this a remote-control revenant yes what a time to be alive fear me and my dumb glee Handy’s oh no no I can only imagine the boardroom meeting in Hell when they design this thing how about a spider I like where your head’s at but think a little bit bigger scarier a giant metal spider getting closer a giant mouse spider the sauce rod bread with a face you’ve nailed it Jeff this count of Nightmare fuel can appear anywhere shoot its laser turret to disable it and empty every gun you have in which stupid smug brand face when it’s staggered you can glory kill it by beating it up with its own arm haha.
The cultist base is where you’ll first find the man Cuba’s a massive boy with two flamethrower cannons for arms who definitely ate some if not all of the pies these lads are angry which is fair a supposedly myth to a fighter to walk around with a pair of butt cheeks on the front shoot their arm canister disable them then blast their blubber full of rockets until all its left is a nice juicy mountain of gems a feel for the cleaner I really do the whiplash or mr. whippy as I prefer to call him first appears on the occultist best brandishing two curved claws and a big old pew genome can be difficult because they won’t stand still stop them wriggling with a cheeky ice bomb Filip full of LEDs and then finished with a gory kill to make some demon sushi delicious those are just some of the demonic scoundrels you’ll be faced with in Doom so always be on your guard and take your chainsaw everywhere you go even in the bath you heard me.
Even in the bath if you want to see more of the hellish creatures of doom stick with IGN.